Pieces

Hey old friend. I haven’t been here in quite a while. I wrote a book and dipped on my blog! My bad. I’m back because there was something pressing on my heart and I didn’t want to make a video. I wanted to put my words on a page. I’ve been reading a devotional for spouses and using the daily prayer to pray for my husband and for our marriage. As I type this I am not married but it’s important to pray for your spouse BEFORE they arrive. So yeah, I lay on my face consistently for the spouse and daughter I do not have yet just as I do for the child, the friends, and the family I do have already. With the same strength, power and fervor.

Anywho, what brought me here today was a revelation I received as I was led to listen to one of my favorite worship songs. One of my little sisters tagged me in a “favorite worship song” challenge on Instagram. IG didn’t have the version of the song I prefer so I posted the one they had and then I went to Youtube to listen the one I love. It’s called “Pieces” and I’m obsessed the rendition by Darrel Walls ft. Dayanna Redic. This is the second song of his that the Lord has pulled lyrics out and said ” these are characteristics your husband needs to have.” The other song is “I will exalt you” and the chorus goes: “my hiding place, my safe refuge, my treasure, my friend and King, anointed one, & holy”.

Now, let’s look at “Pieces”. Just listen to the song because I’ll end up typing the entire thing to make a point. But the most important part that was illuminated tonight was “You don’t give your heart in pieces”. Now of course both of these songs are talking about Jesus, and my spouse will in no way be able to be as perfect as our Lord and Savior. BUT, what God is trying to tell me is that my husband needs to be a reflection of Him. He will be my safe place. He will never give himself to me in pieces. His heart will be for me and no one else. There will be no confusion within himself. And like the old adage says, “if you’re trying to choose between me and someone else, don’t choose me”.

There’s a quote thats talks about Black women being worthy of love that doesn’t hurt first. And if we stick to the standard our Daddy has set then we will have the love of a lifetime with someone who is 100% sure about us. Someone who will love us like Christ loves the church. Someone who won’t hurt us and then come dragging back when they’re ready to love us right. Someone who will make a decision & do it right the first time.

Okay, it’s 3am and there’s probably hella typos. I need to take some valerian root so I can go to sleep. Love ya’ll, I’ll be back here more often.

Strippers Know Jesus Too

So I came across a picture on Instagram of strippers praying. I see a lot of people making fun of this pic (and I get it), but when I saw it I was like “well at least they know where their help comes from”. Now I don’t know what they’re praying for, but the mere fact that they are praying shows their reverence for God which is more than I can say for a lot of folk who call themselves Christians today. I know that sounds crazy, but some people get so caught up and so self righteous, that they forget they aren’t perfect. God can do anything and He can change anyone. Prayer changes things and it changes our hearts. It removes anything that does not look like Christ and fills the holes and gaps with His Holy Spirit – all we have to do is ask. Who knows, maybe they’ll keep praying and God will change their prayers from “Lord, let them toss nothing but 50’s and hundreds, and please allow my cheeks to clap with precision, to Lord, please protect me and get me out of this place”.

But for real! Sometimes I feel like the closer we get to God, the more we treat Him like He’s our homey. Yes, He wants to be our friend and the lover of our soul, but He is also Holy and we need to show Him honor! These girls are! Even though it doesn’t look like what we think it should look like, He is there with them and He is keeping them protected! The first time I saw the pic I actually prayed for the women in it. I prayed that His Spirit would really touch them and that they would get a revelation of their worth. They are still daughters of the King and He still loves them. Just like He loves us liars and fornicators. #Bloop

A lot of times we forget how far away from the cross we are, but that it’s because of His blood that we are redeemed. We are not saved because we’re good people or because we do good things. We are saved because He loves us. We didn’t deserve it, but He cared for us so much that He died for our sins. Does He expect us to never mess up, nope. But as Christians we should always strive to look like Him. Will we fail? Yes, but does His blood cover? Oh yes!

So yeah, who knows, maybe some of those young ladies will be evangelists one day. Look at some of your favorite leaders, most of them were a hot mess at one point. I use to pose half naked in men’s magazines and now I teach kids church and I am spreading the gospel as far as I can. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with posing for XXL Eye Candy or King, but now the only man who will see my half naked body will be my husband…or if you google, but that’s neither here nor there. (what does that even mean) anyway…

I’ve always had a gift of capturing people’s attention and them listening to what I have to say, but just like I’ve mentioned before, people will listen to Ivonnah from TV and magazines quicker than Ivonnah from The Elm (New Haven is called The Elm City). I use the platform that was built to spread God’s word. Being a Christian isn’t about being perfect, it’s about living our lives for Christ and letting Him change us right? People change, behavior changes, and when someone is submitting themselves to the Lord to be better then why do we kick them when they’re down? We tell them to grow while we have our foot on their neck because we continue to remind them of where they use to be. We don’t even give them a chance to show that their behavior has changed before we go accusing them based on previous actions. We’re supposed to be a support, iron sharpens iron right? Well how about we sharpen each another and not stab one another in the chest. Amen

Granny Panties Don’t Work

A while ago in one of my blogs I mentioned soul ties & I said I’d get back at a later date, well, here’s the later date. Back in the old biblical days folks didn’t have the ceremonies we have today. To be considered married, the two became one when they had sex & their souls were tied together under God, & now they are husband & wife…end of blog lol I kid I kid, but do you see where I’m going with this? Their SOULS were TIED & the two became ONE. Do you understand that we are nothing but souls that were given flesh & bones to walk this earth to glorify God’s kingdom? That’s all we are!! But that’s a big deal! So our souls being connected & intertwined with people before it’s time, before they are our husband or wife only brings about heartache, pain & unnecessary stuff you’ll have to deal with when you do become married. It not only binds you to that person, but to all of the people that they have been with. I have my own crazy and I don’t need your crazy ex girlfriend hopping into my spirit too. No thanks.

People always say that waiting until marriage is old fashioned, that the Ten Commandments do not apply anymore, but read what Paul says in 1 Thessalonians “For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor— not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.” It says to control your body!! No excuses. You cannot say that you know God & do the opposite of what He says to do. It is not old fashioned – Thessalonians…that’s New Testament, post Jesus aka how we should be living.

Now a few years ago God tackled me to the ground & put me in a headlock, just kidding – God told me that I needed to stop having sex until I was married. This was not news to my ears, and I will not lie to you all & act like I just said “okie dokie Lord”, I didn’t. I think men are the most beautiful creation, especially a big ole Black one with a beard. Do I miss sex, YES, but do I want my marriage & the plans that the Lord has set for my life to be blessed & given to me HECK YES. It’s so much more important to be on God’s plan than to be on your own. It was a tough pill to swallow, but the Lord was very specific, & I am very thankful for it now. It has saved me from being bound to men that I would have had no business being bound to. Simply, it’s a relief! I know Aunt Flo is coming to town & on every physical I know my HIV test will be negative. *ye shrug*

Sooo, dating, I really hate when people say “we’re not supposed to date because there is no dating in the bible” yeah & your daddy isn’t trading you for a flock of cattle either, wait, that would be a herd huh? Anywho, marriages aren’t arranged like they were back then – we need to date, get to know people, see how they are, check their integrity, things like that. But dating in the church does not look like dating in the world – well it’s not supposed to.

I’m saying all this to say pull your panties back up ladies and gentlemen be the leader & make her purity (and yours) a priority whether you’re a virgin or rededicated your body to Christ. The intimacy that we long for should be the intimacy we are having with the Lord, get to know Him while we’re getting to know the person we’re dating. He will show you things you need to know about that person, He will warn you or give you the go ahead if you are sensitive to His Spirit – but that only comes from spending time.

Lastly, we can’t put ourselves in compromising positions & think that we’re so strong that we can resist the temptation…we cannot. Well we can, but only for so long. Paul also says in 1 Corinthians (Paul stayed warning the church about sex) “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” It is the only one that CLEARY AFFECTS, the affects are evident & like one of my girlfriends pointed out, it’s the only sin that becomes not a sin. It’s the trickiest one so you know it has to be important. The Holy Spirit is in you. That means we’re dragging the Holy Spirit into our mess!! Runnnnnn!!!! Run! Run! Run! I’ve been talking to a guy & I’ve had to run …cause he’s fine, & young & athletic &…yeah you get it. It’s just not safe lol. We can try little tricks like wearing granny panties or not waxing, it doesn’t work, trust me. So ladies put your pretty panties back on & keep your appointments just do not go to his house at all times of night & by no means spend the night! Or just don’t go to his house at all!

I digress, I am not here to repremand or talk down, I’m talking to myself too, hello…young fineian. But there’s a reason why we are supposed to be hidden in Christ. He needs to get through Christ & pass His inspection in order to get to us. Trust Me, God will not let a janky dude through if we are truly hidden in Him, only we can. Now can we be sexy & appealing, of course men are visual creatures, but we need to know how to catch without throwing too much. I heard on TV last night “if things were easy to find, then they wouldn’t be worth finding”.

I Gotta Get Mine, And You, You Gotta Get Yours…

Hey Hey Hey! Yeah so, I’m supposed to be writing a history paper, but I cannot go on until I get this off my chest. For months I’ve felt ummm stopped up, stuck, in a muck, in a rut, just like someone pushed the pause button on my life. Only to find out that it was God, He was giving me specific instructions about my life, but I was ignoring Him because I was afraid of the repercussions of man. Let me tell you something, just like a spouse, or a boyfriend or girlfriend know just what buttons to push to get a reaction out of you, the LORD knows exactly what you need to get you to where He wants you to be if you are not listening. Now God is a gentleman, He won’t FORCE you to do anything, but He does know how to deal with each of His children in a very specific way. Like a parent, He deals with us all according to our needs, our personality, our knowledge and our attitude, things like that. For instance, I let Christian (my son) get a tattoo for his 16th birthday, I know people will not agree but I know my son, and I know the significance of what he wanted. It’s a beautiful tattoo to remind him of my grandfather who was his bff. Now when I have more children, they may want one at 16, and I can hear it now “but you let Chris get one!” and I may have to answer “yes, but you want Tinkerbelle on the back of your neck, no ma’am”. Her pappy and I will have to deal with her accordingly. With that being said, God always tries to give me slight nudges, little pushes to say “go that way”, but unfortunately He usually has to smack me down on my face in a pile of tears and snot for me to listen…I know, I’m trying to do better, but it’s the truth, I don’t always listen! I like to live on the edge I guess (like this paper that’s due Wednesday that I haven’t started).

Anywho, I finally decided to listen, and ever since I did I’ve felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, I’m seeing and hearing more clearly, and I just feel FREE, like doors are opening and nothing is holding me down. I don’t know why people think that being a Christian is all about rules and regulations, it isn’t! It is about FREEDOM in Christ! You are so much more free when you are obedient to His word, especially when He gives YOU a specific word for your life. You can’t let others tell you what you need to be doing in order to be in line with Christ, and you can’t lean on other people’s anointing as your own and expect to reap the benefits! You cannot walk in someone else’s calling and expect to be blessed! You have to walk in the path that God has carved out especially for you even if others don’t understand, even if you don’t understand. Hello, lean not on your own understanding…we say we trust God yet we question His judgement lol that just sounds ridiculous! WE don’t trust HIS judgement…let’s let that marinate…

OK, yeah so as I say all of this, I must say that you gotta get yours when it comes to the Lord. Not in a selfish, self serving way, but in a way that is reflective of Jesus Christ. Praise and Worship for instance, is not a show for you to sit, listen and be entertained by the vocal styling of the best singers of your congregation. Because really, the Lord can pass you the mic at any time and ask you to sing wit yo non singin’, voice crackin’ self. Yes!! It can happen, you know why, because the person with the best voice may not be anointed, or they may be in the flesh, but your praise is so pure that it sounds beautiful to ears of God. Now an anointed beautiful voice is a blessing Halleujah!! but that cracking pure spirit is just as amazing.

We don’t go to church to always receive, receive from the pastor, receive from the praise team, just soak up all the goodness of “church”. It’s not about tingly’s when your favorite praise leader starts singing your favorite song. It’s about you getting yours, however you need to, if you have to lay out in the floor, or cry out to the Lord!! Now, I do not in any means mean to make a spectacle of yourself and put on a show, don’t be foolish. But whatever it takes to get what you need, you need to do it! No matter who is watching because they should be getting theirs too and not be paying attention to you! Today I was on my FACE and I’m sure my tracks were showing, but if you saw my tracks, then you weren’t where you needed to be in the Spirit. When you’re fighting for your life it is NOT the time to be cute! You have to put in work, not just wait for church to usher in the Spirit to get what you need. You should be able to do it on your own, in the car, in the grocery store, on the highway, in the shower whenever you need Him!!

Punctuality and an order of service is not what one should be looking for. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit in order to stay on your agenda, or your schedule. Funny, I wrote that two months ago but today the Spirit moved one way and changed the course of the service and who are we to complain? Should order be in the church? Yes, of course but don’t try and dictate what the Holy Spirit is trying to do. The Lord obviously wants you to get something – TAKE IT!

Old School Lovin’

As I sit here with my son Christian watching The Prince of Egypt (his favorite movie), we get to the part where Moses has to tell his wife what God told him to do. Now this post isn’t about Moses, it’s about his wife, his better half, his rock, Zipporah…

One must wonder what goes through a persons mind when their husband comes home & says “honey, when I was out, God spoke to me through a burning bush & told me that I have to go back to my land & set my people free” I can imagine Zipporah’s extreme side eye.

I have a question for the ladies, well a few…How many of us can honestly say that we could have done what Zipporah did? Honestly, be truthful with yourself, no one is looking. Most women today won’t even stick by their man’s side in a dispute, nevermind being by his side when he’s called by God to lead a people out of a country & face the most powerful King in the land. The person who had the ability to double the Israelites work load, or worse, kill Moses & his family if they even stepped foot into the palace.

But back to Zipporah, when one reads Exodus it doesn’t go into the conversation that she and Moses had when he told her about his encounter with God. When he said that they had to leave the confines of her daddy’s home. But in Prince of Egypt it does…well kinda, I mean it’s a cartoon but I imagine they portrayed a pretty accurate response. She had the “blank stare” “huh, are you for real” look on her face followed by the hanging of her head with a sigh. I’m sure there were many thoughts going through her mind, the danger her husband is going to face going home & telling his brother (not blood but…now The 10 Commandments plays every year at Easter you should know this story) Ramses that he had to let his people go. (why did I just think of the jail scene on Fresh Prince lol sorry) But ultimately she says “I’m going with you”. In the Bible God never said to pack up & take your family, like with Lot, God was specific about who was to go & with Abraham that he was to go alone. So I’m assuming she didn’t HAVE to go, she had a choice and she chose to be with her husband through the battle with his brother & withstand the trials right by his side.

Later on, when God was going to make Moses very ill because one of his sons wasn’t circumcised, Zipporah took a flint & circumcised him herself! She did that to protect her husband. I did a blog a while ago “Who’s Got You Covered” about husbands being the covering to their wives, wives need to have their husband’s back. Am I married, no not yet but the Lord has been preparing me lately. Now what if Zipporah had stayed home chillin with her pops Jethro & her sisters? Poor ole Moses would have been a goner…

A few months ago my friends parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. I think that’s soooooo awesome! Why can’t couples these days last 4 years, or 4 months!? Couples back in the day stuck it out! They didn’t run at the first sign of danger, they respected their vows. Why are so many couples today divorcing or shacking up like that’s really OK!? It’s not! Vows between a man & woman are sacred and marriage isn’t a contract. It’s a vow under God. Stop playin house, acting like a wife & wondering why he won’t marry you!! Get married!!

*Dismounts high horse*

Anyway, the whole point of this blog was to say ladies, let’s get it together. We’re always claiming that there are no good men, but I mean, one attracts what one gives off so…

I don’t know everything, but I do know what the Lord has been teaching me in the past month or so, changing my mind about somethings. Things I just had to have in my marriage…or not have. Like me saying that I never wanted to struggle with my husband until my wise sista said that the struggle brings you closer. Or that I HAD to get married in Connecticut, but one day God said to me “what if your future husband has someone who can’t travel?” I was like dang, OK Lord (but I really want to get married in Connecticut BUT now I’m open lol). Yeah so, God has just been pruning & working on me in that area. And having my husbands back will be #1, just like women did back in the day…

The Lord Is My Strength…No Forreals…

Hey ya’ll!! I know, a few of you have been at my neck because I haven’t written a blog since October I believe. Ay yi yi! All bad. But I had an experience yesterday that was so awesomely out of this world that I had to share.

I sent the longest tweet telling this story earlier, but I wanted folks on Facebook or who missed the tweet to be able to know what happened…

Yesterday I wasn’t feeling so well, yup, my blood pressure again. I go to the doc and as the receptionist is checking me out, there were a few of her co-workers behind her who were talking about Jesus, and about the word. So ole girl was typing and looking out the side of her eye to get a feel for what I was thinking, mind you, my blood pressure came down so fast that I was dizzy and no one could properly get a read on ANYTHING that I was thinking. She goes “you guys are loud” and looks at me again, they keep going, she says “shhhh you guys are loud!” again. LOL! I’m like, it’s cool I love Jesus, they can talk about Him all they want. Oh, she’s Catholic by the way, so she’s a believer but…

So another girl, pretty young, probably early 20’s says “i tell him that he should be a missionary all the time” about another fellow in the office. Trying to stand up to walk out I get dizzy again, as I hold on the the chair I told them that I went on a missions trip to Mexico last summer. She’s intrigued by this and starts asking me a gang of questions about homosexuality, levels of sin, sex before marriage… “but if you love someone it’s ok right?” No my sista, not until he’s your husband.

The more I tell her about what the word says about being gay, and sex before marriage, and how no sin is bigger than any other (people try to put being gay at a 10 and fornication at a 7, when really there’s no difference. You want to throw shade, but you having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend last night isn’t any different than him having sex with his boyfriend last night or her…yeah you get my drift).

Back to what I was saying – the more I told her what the word says and how God is love and He wants us to love our brothers and sisters and not ostracize them, and how dangerous soul ties are when they’re not made with your husband or wife the more I felt better! The more upright I stood! The dizziness just COMPLETELY went away!! The more I proclaimed the word of Jesus more strength I had! It was amazing! Absolutely amazing! He gave me the strength I needed in that moment. She was taking it all in, I mean really taking it in, gasping at the points I was making, eyes wide open. She reminded me of my little sisters in Sister2Sister when we tell them something and it clicks in their heads.

Ahhhh! I just love God! He’s so tight! He uses every situation to help others, I felt awful yesterday, but if that means I helped one more girl cherish her virtue, and another one who believes but is afraid to talk about it because someone might get offended become unafraid, then I’m happy I was ill and that the Lord was able to use me in that moment. I just wanna run around the block when I think about it! But unfortunately I can’t because I still don’t feel so hot. As a matter of fact when I went to go drop my prescriptions off I felt dizzy again and had to sit down. That’s how I KNOW it was God at the doc.

People will get offended, I saw it first hand when a kid sang a praise & worship song in Spanish class. Mind you, he went way over his time limit and it was in English. BUT this one kid was literally shaking he was so mad!! Then says “he was totally praising dude” Dude? did you just call my Jesus dude? The one who died for you too, even when He knew you were going to make that comment right there? I wanted to punch him in his face, but that’s not WJWD. What if Jesus was afraid of sticking up for you? AH! Think about it! Think of all you’ve done and He tells His friends “Yes, I’ve chosen her to lead the dance ministry” I’ve chosen him to be a children’s church teacher” “Her, yeah her right there, I want her to be a missionary, the recovering crack addict yes, that’s who I want” “That one right there who use to sell drugs and run the street, yep I want him to be a pastor”. Do you KNOW how many side eye’s I’m sure He gets, BUT STILL He chooses us and stands by us no matter what!! So how can we deny Him and keep Him hush hush in public!!

Sigh, I digress, if you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour I beg of you to PLEASE get to know Him! He’s the only way! The Way, the Truth and the Light!

The Lord is my strength and my strong helper, he has become my salvation: he is my God and I will give him praise; my father’s God and I will give him glory. ~Exodus 15:2~

The Day From Heaven

Let me tell y’all about my day… mind you it’s only 1:14 pdt (did you know that it’s not pst until winter) anywho… This morning a friend of mine had to go in for a biopsy, as a church family we were asked by Pastor to wake up at 6am to pray for our sister as she went in for her tests. Now, most of you who follow me on twitter know that I’ve been having issues with Sprint about my phone. My OTHER new phone that I JUST activated Monday is already trippin’, so guess what? Yep! My alarm didn’t go off, the phone had shut down & had the “error 202” message. But my God is so good, I’m usually awakened by the need to go potty around 6:40 or so, but He woke me up at 6am on the dot!! Let’s see what lesson did I get out of that? Simple, I had an alarm set for 5:59 & a wake up call from Erika as back up, I don’t need anyone but Him…

My twitter fam also knows that I just got my car out of the shop. When they fixed my fuel pump, something happened with my fuel line so my gas was leaking. GREAT!! So my plan was to leave early, stop & get gas before I took Chris to school because I didn’t want it leaking out over night. But my child wasn’t ready, so I say OK, I can get him there & get back, & get some gas before I bring my car to the mechanic. I decide to hop on the highway, on an UPHILL entrance! Ivonnah!? For reals?? My car starts stuttering & I’m like JESUS PLEEEEEASE. So I get off the next exit which had absolutely NO gas stations!! Sloan stops stuttering, & we’re riding smoothly, I’m like OK I can make it to the one near my house. I have no idea what happened but all of a sudden I was two BIG blocks past my turn! AHHH! I’m trippin’ with NO GAS, really? Ugh, I bust a U, & make a quick right (praying the whole time) trying to get to ANY gas station. Oh no! Red light & the street is slanted upward! AHHH “come on Sloan, you can make it”. By now I can smell the fumes my car was running on. I stutter to the light, she gets a little more gumption, I make the left tuuuuurn aaaaand stutter, stutter, I’m pushing on the steering wheel saying NO NO NO, stutter…it’s a wrap. She’s just cruising as I steer her to the side, I float past a sign, didn’t have time to read it to see if I could park there. *Sigh* it only gets worse…OK there’s a strip club parking lot & next to it is a post office (yeah, I know) I refuse to stall in the strip club lot, even though it was easier to get into. So I’m pressing the gas as hard as I can (like that’s doing something) & I make it to the post office……exit, which is slanted slightly upward as well, I turn in & Sloan just says sorry Von. So I’m stuck sideways in the exit. I get out to try & push LOL, oh that’s so funny. A man sees me & gets out to help, another man at the drive up box hopped out as well & they push me safely into a parking space. My lesson from this…Stay focused, when you’re not focused you get off track. Our main focus needs to be on the Lord, when we take it off of Him we end up going round about, the long way, & eventually running outta gas. Even if it’s seems like the other road is easier. But when you are one of His sheep, He shepherds you, guides you, & if you need a little more push He’ll send His angels & put the people in your life that you need by your side, walking your walk with you.

Whew! That’s over, now the easy part. I have a gas container from my days of running out of gas with Nia Chrystie, all I have to do is walk (4 big blocks) to the gas station. It’s cool, I was going to do 40 minutes on the bike anyway. OK, wait, hold up, where’s my, umm, my debit card is home!! Ivonnah Danielle Erskine! Putting $3 on a credit card just seems dumb. So between my purse, the floor & in the seat I scraped up $1.50 in quarters. So I’m walking up the street, black hoodie, bright blue sweats that say HOLLISTER in pink across the butt & a purple pashmina, black charcol mask on my pimple. Yep, lookin’ good. I had a nice walk, took the time to just be me & Jesus.

Funny thing is, I had on so many layers! I half get ready in the morning before I bring Chris, then I go back & finish before I go to class. But for some reason (Holy Spirit) I put pants under the sweats & a shirt & jacket over my tank top WITH my pash! Y’all know that “something told me to…” is the Holy Spirit right? God always makes sure you’re prepared! It was really cold this morning.

OK, now I get home, I’m making some eggs & bacon before I go to class…*sigh* I burn two of my fingers taking my bread out of the oven that I was warming up. Ugh, I eat, throw on some jeans, take off the purple pash & throw on a white one & brush my teeth. I leave to bring my car, Juan drops me at school, I’m walking & my right sock is smaller than the left one, (or maybe the foot is bigger) it’s sliding off my heel to the arch of my foot. I’m in Spanish class, I’m telling Patti about my morning & I realize that I didn’t take the mask off of my pimple. I get hot, I take my jacket off, where are my boobs? Oh geez I forgot to put on a bra…

Companionship, Marriage, Beans, Franks & Scrapple…

The other day I was talking to my friend about companionship, then the importance of a partnership in marriage & how important of a covenant it is to God. We hopped on over to how I’ll never get a divorce once I am married (’til death do us part sucka). Slowly but surely our discussion turned to his detest for beans & franks (together, they’re fine separately smh) & then somehow scrapple became the topic of conversation…don’t ask lol. This was all via bbm…

So later on I got to thinking about relationships. Now, when you’re in a relationship, well I guess when you start dating someone, how open is your conversation? Do you send your representative like Chris Rock said? Or are you yourself completely? I mean, they say that the best relationships come from great friendships, so how come we can be so open with our friends, or how come when we ARE dating someone we’re able to be open with “him/her” & not with “him/her”? What makes the difference? I’ll give you my take on this…

When I’m dating I’m always very cautious…1 reason is because I’ve had men flip from cool to groupie on me (& they call women groupies HA!), once they figure out I’ve been in videos or was on Wild N’ Out ugh boy oh boy. #2 The ones that know, but don’t care about that think they’re getting Ivonnah from TV & then begin to lose interest once they realize I burp & fart just like the next chick. Sometimes, as awesome as I am, I’m very leery about just being ME right off the bat. I’m a little coo coo, what if he doesn’t like my personality? Or I scare him? “I know, I need an artist who understands my thought process”. HAHA! All types of things go through my brain…

I think it’s pretty sad that at times, we feel like we can’t be ourselves, or we have to stifle who we are & put our personalities under a rock. That’s not OK, when we’re in relationships we shouldn’t have to tread water with what we say & how we act. We should be able to be free, open & honest. I’m not saying spill your guts or fart on the first date, ladies, don’t fart at all…ever…but we should feel comfortable with being ourselves with our mate, just as we are with our friends. I love bean casserole (nothin’ but beans & franks baked with brown sugar & butter) now what if he didn’t tell me that my dinner sounded gross? lol I might have made that one day & I would get the “talk to the hand” & “sick face” like he did on bbm haha. We should be able to be ourselves at all times & be loved & appreciated for it…be able to talk about everything from being in love to corn beef hash. If you can’t be vulnerable with your mate then who WILL you be vulnerable with? The next man or woman? Whew! Jesus, I just felt something in my spirit as I typed that, I really want to start shouting, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.

I digress, Flaws & All by Beyonce describes me so well, “I’m a host of imperfection, but you see past all that”…

It all boils down to the fact that we’re not perfect. When we get into relationships we should be able to be as open & as honest as we possibly can be (without being overbearing). We shouldn’t be afraid to be us because we are wonderfully made. God picked every quirk, snort, & tendency when He was putting us together, He doesn’t make any mistakes, & there’s someone out there who’s going to love all of it. We’re all unique, perfect the way we are…to quote the legendary Marilyn Monroe: “I’m selfish, impatient & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Yep, I feel you Marilyn…

Who’s Gotcha Covered…

What are your requirements for a mate? Does he have to be tall, dark and handsome? Have enough money to buy you an island? AND get you there often (That would be amaaaazing, lol). But for real, guys, does she have to be fine? Have a body for days? Always have her nails done? What’s a deal breaker for you? What about your friends? Do they have to be spiritually grounded in Christ? How important is that to you…

When I was younger I was under the misconception that it was cool as long as he/they had SOME kind of spiritual guidance even though I believe Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I thought that if they are spiritually grounded in whatever they believed that it was all good. Boy was I wrong…

So fast forward to the present…Last week at our church anniversary Pastor Dre was explaining how important it is to have Pastor Chuck covering her. It was like a light bulb went off in my head, well over…you know the one I’m talking about. Everything I thought was important in my mate in the past was so irrelevant, superficial and meaningless. I mean when I meet a man I still check out his shoes BUT, lol… Ok ladies do you know how important it is to have a man (husband) who is going to cover you? Go to spiritual battle on your behalf and for the behalf of your family? When you’ve done all that you can do, and you’re tired, to have a man who’s going to keep you lifted in prayer? Do you even understand HOW important that is!? Gentlemen, are you aware of how important it is for your woman (wife) to be YOUR spiritual backbone? To make sure your kids are in the word? To get down on her knees and pray and fight through the spiritual battle with you?

What about your friends? In Romans 12 it says that we are one body. We are one body in Christ, therefore if we’re in this together and I mess up, I mess you up. Right? Take my high blood pressure for instance, when it’s acting up it causes me to have a headache, my sinuses to hurt, and my ears and my teeth, sometimes my legs feel funny AND now they’re monitoring my kidneys…ALL because of my blood pressure. Why? Because I have one body and when one thing is acting up it affects my ENTIRE body because it’s connected. The same goes for the body of Christ, if I slip up, I slip you up and guess what!? Guess who’s also connected to us? Jesus. Yep, we take Him right along with us into our sin, (as Pastor Kelvin calls it, Self Inflicted Nonsense) People are always quick to say “The Lord knows my heart” Yep! He sure does and He knew when you were lusting over that man or when you fornicated with that woman. He knew your heart alright and you dragged Him right along into that bed, He inhaled that puff of weed with you, and He was right there as you were cussin’ that lady out. Brings the idea of repentance to a whole other level huh?

Yeah yeah yeah, I know a lot of you are gonna say “well Jesus died for my sin” (insert eye & neck roll), but have we forgotten the part about being made in God’s image? So, if we were made in God’s image and so was Jesus and they are perfect then…hmmm riiiiiiiight. Oh don’t get your knickers in a tizzy, NO God does NOT expect us to be perfect that’s why Jesus died for us, BUT as Proverbs 26:11 says “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.” So basically if we keep going back and doing the same SELF INFLICTED NONSENSE then we’re fools, God says so. We have to try our best everyday to be like Christ. There’s no way in the world we can be as dope or as fly as He was, not at all but we must strive to be, and have people in your corner who are striving to be as well.

This takes me to John 15, pruning…

He is the vine, we are the branches…We are connected to Him, He is connected to us, and as brothers and sisters in Christ we are connected to each other. Now if you have a tree in your yard and the branches are dead, dried up and not producing any fruit then what do you do? You cut them off so that they don’t kill the entire tree. Who are the dead branches in your life?

Jesus Christ resides on the inside of us! His Holy Spirit! How can we keep dragging Him into our nonsense, into our sin and keep using excuses meanwhile we’re killing ourselves in the spirit. Causing parts of us to dry up, wither and die! Nothing that is dead can be connected to Jesus. If we’re dying in the spirit there’s no way we can be connected to His vine. No way.

So You Want To Get Married…

The other day I was talking to my friend/sis Dani. Just about life and why things happen the way that they do. How tragedy seems like the end of the world, but then later on in life we realize why it was done and why it was in Gods plan.

When God created us He had our lives planned out down to the very second! We sometimes (because He gave us that tricky thing called free will) have the ability to screw some things up by making our own way, making our own decisions without asking for guidance first, but because our God is so awesome, He can even turn our screw ups into a way to benefit us and become our testimonies!

We need to learn to lean on our Lord and trust Him fully. He’s the ONLY one who makes the right decision ALL THE TIME! Growing up, I was taught not to question God, because every decision He makes is correct and perfect. But as a fleshly human being HELLO I HAVE QUESTIONS!! Why does this and that happen? She’s such an awesome person why does this always happen to her? How does he always get blessed when he is so evil?

One question I stopped asking was why am I 3….wait no, I asked before now it was more like why am I 28 and still not married with no siiiiign of a prospective husband, not even remotely close! I mean really, my godparents bought me a beautiful pearl necklace when I was 8 years old for my baptism. It had 8 pearls on it and my mom was supposed to put a pearl on it every year on my birthday until I got married…that sucker probably can’t FIT another pearl on it!

I digress…over the past few years I’ve come to realize that when I was in my twenties I had absolutely NO CLUE about what marriage was. Yeah I knew it was a vow to God that should never be broken, you have a ceremony, and I knew you wore a pretty white gown…or off white…cream? And then you partied after and now you are legally and spiritually bound to this person under God for life…life! Ahhhh such a scary concept for me at one point. I didn’t understand the importance of marriage and that marriage wasn’t about me it was about God and glorifying His kingdom. (You know that’s what our whole life is about right? It’s not about us) I use to say that I didn’t want to get married so much that I thought I cursed myself! But no, God knew exactly what he was doing because I also use to say that when I got married, I wasn’t getting a divorce. We gone have ta stick it out bruh…

Definition of covenant: A solemn and binding relationship which is meant to last a lifetime.

Back in the old testament they had to cut a lamb or a goat into two halves and walk between them O_O and say Lord I give you my solemn promise in this covenant and if I break it split me in two like this here carcass. Uhhh yeah, as far as ancestral tradition goes I think we’re gonna stick to jumping the broom.

But seriously! Marriage is a covenant between you two and GOD, it’s not a legal piece of paper, it’s a solemn promise that you’re making with your creator. The one who has the ability to wake or not wake you in the morning. Marriage is like thee most important covenant to God! Which is why you’re supposed to wait to have sex until you’re married. That’s when you two become one with God. (I’ll get into that on a later post) We need to take marriage as seriously as they did in the past. People take their promise to God far too lightly. “She’s not as cute as she use to be” “He’s not as cut as he use to be”. Maaaan please! It’s about so much more than that.

We were getting schooled by Miss Pam the other night and one thing she said was. “Go into marriage knowing you’re not divorcing, you have to work it out”, she also said meet their family (yikes for some of us). With that said, you HAVE to KNOW the person. People get married so quickly now and days you look up and they’re divorcing! Why? Because they didn’t know each other . They’re not on the same page. The person I marry will have to have the same mind set as me or it isn’t going to work. Will we have to agree all the time about everything? No, but on major things? Indeed. That comes with being equally yoked. I can’t believe that Jesus is the Messiah and he believes that Jesus was just a prophet. No bueno, not gonna work boo.

Ok, once again I don’t know how we got on this road over here lol. Maybe it’s because people keep telling me that I’m next…and I receive that in the name of Jesus. I’m so glad that God spared me the pain of divorce or the pain of “sticking it out” with someone that I didn’t want to be with or didn’t want to be with me. He waited until I was ready and mature enough to handle all that marriage entails. I can’t thank Him enough for that…now, how ’bout that husband 🙂