I Gotta Get Mine, And You, You Gotta Get Yours…

Hey Hey Hey! Yeah so, I’m supposed to be writing a history paper, but I cannot go on until I get this off my chest. For months I’ve felt ummm stopped up, stuck, in a muck, in a rut, just like someone pushed the pause button on my life. Only to find out that it was God, He was giving me specific instructions about my life, but I was ignoring Him because I was afraid of the repercussions of man. Let me tell you something, just like a spouse, or a boyfriend or girlfriend know just what buttons to push to get a reaction out of you, the LORD knows exactly what you need to get you to where He wants you to be if you are not listening. Now God is a gentleman, He won’t FORCE you to do anything, but He does know how to deal with each of His children in a very specific way. Like a parent, He deals with us all according to our needs, our personality, our knowledge and our attitude, things like that. For instance, I let Christian (my son) get a tattoo for his 16th birthday, I know people will not agree but I know my son, and I know the significance of what he wanted. It’s a beautiful tattoo to remind him of my grandfather who was his bff. Now when I have more children, they may want one at 16, and I can hear it now “but you let Chris get one!” and I may have to answer “yes, but you want Tinkerbelle on the back of your neck, no ma’am”. Her pappy and I will have to deal with her accordingly. With that being said, God always tries to give me slight nudges, little pushes to say “go that way”, but unfortunately He usually has to smack me down on my face in a pile of tears and snot for me to listen…I know, I’m trying to do better, but it’s the truth, I don’t always listen! I like to live on the edge I guess (like this paper that’s due Wednesday that I haven’t started).

Anywho, I finally decided to listen, and ever since I did I’ve felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, I’m seeing and hearing more clearly, and I just feel FREE, like doors are opening and nothing is holding me down. I don’t know why people think that being a Christian is all about rules and regulations, it isn’t! It is about FREEDOM in Christ! You are so much more free when you are obedient to His word, especially when He gives YOU a specific word for your life. You can’t let others tell you what you need to be doing in order to be in line with Christ, and you can’t lean on other people’s anointing as your own and expect to reap the benefits! You cannot walk in someone else’s calling and expect to be blessed! You have to walk in the path that God has carved out especially for you even if others don’t understand, even if you don’t understand. Hello, lean not on your own understanding…we say we trust God yet we question His judgement lol that just sounds ridiculous! WE don’t trust HIS judgement…let’s let that marinate…

OK, yeah so as I say all of this, I must say that you gotta get yours when it comes to the Lord. Not in a selfish, self serving way, but in a way that is reflective of Jesus Christ. Praise and Worship for instance, is not a show for you to sit, listen and be entertained by the vocal styling of the best singers of your congregation. Because really, the Lord can pass you the mic at any time and ask you to sing wit yo non singin’, voice crackin’ self. Yes!! It can happen, you know why, because the person with the best voice may not be anointed, or they may be in the flesh, but your praise is so pure that it sounds beautiful to ears of God. Now an anointed beautiful voice is a blessing Halleujah!! but that cracking pure spirit is just as amazing.

We don’t go to church to always receive, receive from the pastor, receive from the praise team, just soak up all the goodness of “church”. It’s not about tingly’s when your favorite praise leader starts singing your favorite song. It’s about you getting yours, however you need to, if you have to lay out in the floor, or cry out to the Lord!! Now, I do not in any means mean to make a spectacle of yourself and put on a show, don’t be foolish. But whatever it takes to get what you need, you need to do it! No matter who is watching because they should be getting theirs too and not be paying attention to you! Today I was on my FACE and I’m sure my tracks were showing, but if you saw my tracks, then you weren’t where you needed to be in the Spirit. When you’re fighting for your life it is NOT the time to be cute! You have to put in work, not just wait for church to usher in the Spirit to get what you need. You should be able to do it on your own, in the car, in the grocery store, on the highway, in the shower whenever you need Him!!

Punctuality and an order of service is not what one should be looking for. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit in order to stay on your agenda, or your schedule. Funny, I wrote that two months ago but today the Spirit moved one way and changed the course of the service and who are we to complain? Should order be in the church? Yes, of course but don’t try and dictate what the Holy Spirit is trying to do. The Lord obviously wants you to get something – TAKE IT!

How Deep Is Your Faith…

So I’m sitting here, and I’m thinking, and I’m chit chatting with Jesus…I do that pretty often, just like I would do with a friend, without running the risk of my business being in the streets in 60 seconds flat (if that offended you, well…). Anywho! I have this gift right, He trusts me with peoples secrets because He wants me to pray for them. I’ve always been that friend all of my friends trust. I know her side and his side…knowing the two people I put both stories together and come up with the truth. I say all of this to say He was training me up all of that time to make sure I could be trusted with the secrets He had for me.

I’m talking to Him and I’m like umm Lord, OK I’ve been praying for my family, friends, my twitter fam and whatever strangers You tell me to pray for! (yeah I was yellin’…walking down the street…on my prayer walk) How come when I pray for myself it doesn’t happen!? Or it takes a LONG time! But my friends call me the next day like “Thanks for praying”! (Like they KNOW that He used me to get their prayer to Him). I know, all bad, but hey I’m human…I apologized. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that He uses me, and I LOVE that my friends trust me and they know that it’s a gift that He has given me, but I’m like dang Jesus!? Now I feel like Job! (Oh yeah, I did say that I wanted you to have faith in me like you did Job didn’t I?) That was about a three weeks ago…

As we were chit chatting the other day I’m thanking Him for my new niece, I was layed out on the floor cryin’ and snottin’ and…OK you get the picture, but He gave me a word that lead to a revelation…Faith. I say “OK, Lord you know I have faith in you”, but as I wiped my tears and blew my nose I thought about it, and I realized what He meant. He knows that I have faith in Him, because I do. I trust Him with all of my heart and soul! But when I pray for others my faith in Him is so much stronger! I get on my knees, I pray and I give to God. I don’t dwell on it or worry about it. I KNOW that whatever they need He will provide, but with myself I lack that confidence. I still worry and wonder, I’m not releasing it to Him like I’m supposed to. But by not releasing it to Him I’m showing a lack of faith. Why? Why do we do that, because I know I’m not the only one. Think about it, in life, when we’re pros at something we walk in BOLDNESS with our heads high and our chests out because we KNOW that we have learned whatever it is we need to do. We, we learned, us by ourselves by our own understanding (what does Proverbs 3:5-6 say?) Now we all have God given gifts…Hello! Given! He GAVE us something, we didn’t have to earn or work for it, it’s free! Something made from Him which is perfectly and wonderfully made, custom designed for each and every one of us. All we have to do is use it, share it to help others which is really helping ourselves because YOU GUYS He’s gonna bless us if we follow His word and do the will He has planned for our lives!

I have faith that when I ask my friends to pray for me that they will. I have faith that when I ask them to pray for strength in my nieces lungs that she will be OK because I’m confident in their relationship with Christ. That’s what it all boils down to, how is your relationship with Him? What does that say about me? How often am I studying my bible, not reading a passage and checking it off for the day but really digging deep and studying His word? The fact of matter is if our relationship with Christ is where it should be then there shouldn’t be any doubt in our minds. Our faith in Him should be strong.

I believe our lack of faith comes from us judging ourselves by our pasts. “Why would He bless me I’ve done x, y & z not to mention l,m,n,o,p”…We want others to forget and stop bringing up stuff that we already gave to God so why do we hold ourselves in bondage? I shouldn’t be secure in my prayer for others but shakey in my prayers for myself.

The crazy part is that He has faith in us…yeah us, ha! Our flesh, our spotty pasts, our pride, our mess ups. He has faith that we’ll do right by Him, once we get to know Him. Haha! He has faith that we WILL get to know Him! The Almighty, Most High, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Giver of Life has faith in us but we can’t have faith that He can pay a light bill or save a marriage!? With a single touch one can be healed from terminal cancer, He doesn’t even have to say a word. There was a woman in the bible who bled for 12 years, she was healed by simply touching the hem of Jesus’ garment. The instant she did her bleeding stopped! When He asked who touched Him she was afraid and it says she came trembling and fell at His feet. She told Him why she touched Him and you know what He said? “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” He was the man! Is that the problem? Are we afraid? Yep! Leaving that job is scary, leaving that relationship is scary, moving to a place where you know no one is scary. But if we have the faith in Him like she had what do you think The Lord will say to us? “Daughter, Son your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” All we have to do is have faith.

Oh, and last Sunday at church I was reminded that Job was blessed double after he prayed for everyone else…