The Day From Heaven

Let me tell y’all about my day… mind you it’s only 1:14 pdt (did you know that it’s not pst until winter) anywho… This morning a friend of mine had to go in for a biopsy, as a church family we were asked by Pastor to wake up at 6am to pray for our sister as she went in for her tests. Now, most of you who follow me on twitter know that I’ve been having issues with Sprint about my phone. My OTHER new phone that I JUST activated Monday is already trippin’, so guess what? Yep! My alarm didn’t go off, the phone had shut down & had the “error 202” message. But my God is so good, I’m usually awakened by the need to go potty around 6:40 or so, but He woke me up at 6am on the dot!! Let’s see what lesson did I get out of that? Simple, I had an alarm set for 5:59 & a wake up call from Erika as back up, I don’t need anyone but Him…

My twitter fam also knows that I just got my car out of the shop. When they fixed my fuel pump, something happened with my fuel line so my gas was leaking. GREAT!! So my plan was to leave early, stop & get gas before I took Chris to school because I didn’t want it leaking out over night. But my child wasn’t ready, so I say OK, I can get him there & get back, & get some gas before I bring my car to the mechanic. I decide to hop on the highway, on an UPHILL entrance! Ivonnah!? For reals?? My car starts stuttering & I’m like JESUS PLEEEEEASE. So I get off the next exit which had absolutely NO gas stations!! Sloan stops stuttering, & we’re riding smoothly, I’m like OK I can make it to the one near my house. I have no idea what happened but all of a sudden I was two BIG blocks past my turn! AHHH! I’m trippin’ with NO GAS, really? Ugh, I bust a U, & make a quick right (praying the whole time) trying to get to ANY gas station. Oh no! Red light & the street is slanted upward! AHHH “come on Sloan, you can make it”. By now I can smell the fumes my car was running on. I stutter to the light, she gets a little more gumption, I make the left tuuuuurn aaaaand stutter, stutter, I’m pushing on the steering wheel saying NO NO NO, stutter…it’s a wrap. She’s just cruising as I steer her to the side, I float past a sign, didn’t have time to read it to see if I could park there. *Sigh* it only gets worse…OK there’s a strip club parking lot & next to it is a post office (yeah, I know) I refuse to stall in the strip club lot, even though it was easier to get into. So I’m pressing the gas as hard as I can (like that’s doing something) & I make it to the post office……exit, which is slanted slightly upward as well, I turn in & Sloan just says sorry Von. So I’m stuck sideways in the exit. I get out to try & push LOL, oh that’s so funny. A man sees me & gets out to help, another man at the drive up box hopped out as well & they push me safely into a parking space. My lesson from this…Stay focused, when you’re not focused you get off track. Our main focus needs to be on the Lord, when we take it off of Him we end up going round about, the long way, & eventually running outta gas. Even if it’s seems like the other road is easier. But when you are one of His sheep, He shepherds you, guides you, & if you need a little more push He’ll send His angels & put the people in your life that you need by your side, walking your walk with you.

Whew! That’s over, now the easy part. I have a gas container from my days of running out of gas with Nia Chrystie, all I have to do is walk (4 big blocks) to the gas station. It’s cool, I was going to do 40 minutes on the bike anyway. OK, wait, hold up, where’s my, umm, my debit card is home!! Ivonnah Danielle Erskine! Putting $3 on a credit card just seems dumb. So between my purse, the floor & in the seat I scraped up $1.50 in quarters. So I’m walking up the street, black hoodie, bright blue sweats that say HOLLISTER in pink across the butt & a purple pashmina, black charcol mask on my pimple. Yep, lookin’ good. I had a nice walk, took the time to just be me & Jesus.

Funny thing is, I had on so many layers! I half get ready in the morning before I bring Chris, then I go back & finish before I go to class. But for some reason (Holy Spirit) I put pants under the sweats & a shirt & jacket over my tank top WITH my pash! Y’all know that “something told me to…” is the Holy Spirit right? God always makes sure you’re prepared! It was really cold this morning.

OK, now I get home, I’m making some eggs & bacon before I go to class…*sigh* I burn two of my fingers taking my bread out of the oven that I was warming up. Ugh, I eat, throw on some jeans, take off the purple pash & throw on a white one & brush my teeth. I leave to bring my car, Juan drops me at school, I’m walking & my right sock is smaller than the left one, (or maybe the foot is bigger) it’s sliding off my heel to the arch of my foot. I’m in Spanish class, I’m telling Patti about my morning & I realize that I didn’t take the mask off of my pimple. I get hot, I take my jacket off, where are my boobs? Oh geez I forgot to put on a bra…

Companionship, Marriage, Beans, Franks & Scrapple…

The other day I was talking to my friend about companionship, then the importance of a partnership in marriage & how important of a covenant it is to God. We hopped on over to how I’ll never get a divorce once I am married (’til death do us part sucka). Slowly but surely our discussion turned to his detest for beans & franks (together, they’re fine separately smh) & then somehow scrapple became the topic of conversation…don’t ask lol. This was all via bbm…

So later on I got to thinking about relationships. Now, when you’re in a relationship, well I guess when you start dating someone, how open is your conversation? Do you send your representative like Chris Rock said? Or are you yourself completely? I mean, they say that the best relationships come from great friendships, so how come we can be so open with our friends, or how come when we ARE dating someone we’re able to be open with “him/her” & not with “him/her”? What makes the difference? I’ll give you my take on this…

When I’m dating I’m always very cautious…1 reason is because I’ve had men flip from cool to groupie on me (& they call women groupies HA!), once they figure out I’ve been in videos or was on Wild N’ Out ugh boy oh boy. #2 The ones that know, but don’t care about that think they’re getting Ivonnah from TV & then begin to lose interest once they realize I burp & fart just like the next chick. Sometimes, as awesome as I am, I’m very leery about just being ME right off the bat. I’m a little coo coo, what if he doesn’t like my personality? Or I scare him? “I know, I need an artist who understands my thought process”. HAHA! All types of things go through my brain…

I think it’s pretty sad that at times, we feel like we can’t be ourselves, or we have to stifle who we are & put our personalities under a rock. That’s not OK, when we’re in relationships we shouldn’t have to tread water with what we say & how we act. We should be able to be free, open & honest. I’m not saying spill your guts or fart on the first date, ladies, don’t fart at all…ever…but we should feel comfortable with being ourselves with our mate, just as we are with our friends. I love bean casserole (nothin’ but beans & franks baked with brown sugar & butter) now what if he didn’t tell me that my dinner sounded gross? lol I might have made that one day & I would get the “talk to the hand” & “sick face” like he did on bbm haha. We should be able to be ourselves at all times & be loved & appreciated for it…be able to talk about everything from being in love to corn beef hash. If you can’t be vulnerable with your mate then who WILL you be vulnerable with? The next man or woman? Whew! Jesus, I just felt something in my spirit as I typed that, I really want to start shouting, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.

I digress, Flaws & All by Beyonce describes me so well, “I’m a host of imperfection, but you see past all that”…

It all boils down to the fact that we’re not perfect. When we get into relationships we should be able to be as open & as honest as we possibly can be (without being overbearing). We shouldn’t be afraid to be us because we are wonderfully made. God picked every quirk, snort, & tendency when He was putting us together, He doesn’t make any mistakes, & there’s someone out there who’s going to love all of it. We’re all unique, perfect the way we are…to quote the legendary Marilyn Monroe: “I’m selfish, impatient & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Yep, I feel you Marilyn…