The other day I was talking to my friend about companionship, then the importance of a partnership in marriage & how important of a covenant it is to God. We hopped on over to how I’ll never get a divorce once I am married (’til death do us part sucka). Slowly but surely our discussion turned to his detest for beans & franks (together, they’re fine separately smh) & then somehow scrapple became the topic of conversation…don’t ask lol. This was all via bbm…
So later on I got to thinking about relationships. Now, when you’re in a relationship, well I guess when you start dating someone, how open is your conversation? Do you send your representative like Chris Rock said? Or are you yourself completely? I mean, they say that the best relationships come from great friendships, so how come we can be so open with our friends, or how come when we ARE dating someone we’re able to be open with “him/her” & not with “him/her”? What makes the difference? I’ll give you my take on this…
When I’m dating I’m always very cautious…1 reason is because I’ve had men flip from cool to groupie on me (& they call women groupies HA!), once they figure out I’ve been in videos or was on Wild N’ Out ugh boy oh boy. #2 The ones that know, but don’t care about that think they’re getting Ivonnah from TV & then begin to lose interest once they realize I burp & fart just like the next chick. Sometimes, as awesome as I am, I’m very leery about just being ME right off the bat. I’m a little coo coo, what if he doesn’t like my personality? Or I scare him? “I know, I need an artist who understands my thought process”. HAHA! All types of things go through my brain…
I think it’s pretty sad that at times, we feel like we can’t be ourselves, or we have to stifle who we are & put our personalities under a rock. That’s not OK, when we’re in relationships we shouldn’t have to tread water with what we say & how we act. We should be able to be free, open & honest. I’m not saying spill your guts or fart on the first date, ladies, don’t fart at all…ever…but we should feel comfortable with being ourselves with our mate, just as we are with our friends. I love bean casserole (nothin’ but beans & franks baked with brown sugar & butter) now what if he didn’t tell me that my dinner sounded gross? lol I might have made that one day & I would get the “talk to the hand” & “sick face” like he did on bbm haha. We should be able to be ourselves at all times & be loved & appreciated for it…be able to talk about everything from being in love to corn beef hash. If you can’t be vulnerable with your mate then who WILL you be vulnerable with? The next man or woman? Whew! Jesus, I just felt something in my spirit as I typed that, I really want to start shouting, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.
I digress, Flaws & All by Beyonce describes me so well, “I’m a host of imperfection, but you see past all that”…
It all boils down to the fact that we’re not perfect. When we get into relationships we should be able to be as open & as honest as we possibly can be (without being overbearing). We shouldn’t be afraid to be us because we are wonderfully made. God picked every quirk, snort, & tendency when He was putting us together, He doesn’t make any mistakes, & there’s someone out there who’s going to love all of it. We’re all unique, perfect the way we are…to quote the legendary Marilyn Monroe: “I’m selfish, impatient & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
Yep, I feel you Marilyn…
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