Pieces

Hey old friend. I haven’t been here in quite a while. I wrote a book and dipped on my blog! My bad. I’m back because there was something pressing on my heart and I didn’t want to make a video. I wanted to put my words on a page. I’ve been reading a devotional for spouses and using the daily prayer to pray for my husband and for our marriage. As I type this I am not married but it’s important to pray for your spouse BEFORE they arrive. So yeah, I lay on my face consistently for the spouse and daughter I do not have yet just as I do for the child, the friends, and the family I do have already. With the same strength, power and fervor.

Anywho, what brought me here today was a revelation I received as I was led to listen to one of my favorite worship songs. One of my little sisters tagged me in a “favorite worship song” challenge on Instagram. IG didn’t have the version of the song I prefer so I posted the one they had and then I went to Youtube to listen the one I love. It’s called “Pieces” and I’m obsessed the rendition by Darrel Walls ft. Dayanna Redic. This is the second song of his that the Lord has pulled lyrics out and said ” these are characteristics your husband needs to have.” The other song is “I will exalt you” and the chorus goes: “my hiding place, my safe refuge, my treasure, my friend and King, anointed one, & holy”.

Now, let’s look at “Pieces”. Just listen to the song because I’ll end up typing the entire thing to make a point. But the most important part that was illuminated tonight was “You don’t give your heart in pieces”. Now of course both of these songs are talking about Jesus, and my spouse will in no way be able to be as perfect as our Lord and Savior. BUT, what God is trying to tell me is that my husband needs to be a reflection of Him. He will be my safe place. He will never give himself to me in pieces. His heart will be for me and no one else. There will be no confusion within himself. And like the old adage says, “if you’re trying to choose between me and someone else, don’t choose me”.

There’s a quote thats talks about Black women being worthy of love that doesn’t hurt first. And if we stick to the standard our Daddy has set then we will have the love of a lifetime with someone who is 100% sure about us. Someone who will love us like Christ loves the church. Someone who won’t hurt us and then come dragging back when they’re ready to love us right. Someone who will make a decision & do it right the first time.

Okay, it’s 3am and there’s probably hella typos. I need to take some valerian root so I can go to sleep. Love ya’ll, I’ll be back here more often.

I Gotta Get Mine, And You, You Gotta Get Yours…

Hey Hey Hey! Yeah so, I’m supposed to be writing a history paper, but I cannot go on until I get this off my chest. For months I’ve felt ummm stopped up, stuck, in a muck, in a rut, just like someone pushed the pause button on my life. Only to find out that it was God, He was giving me specific instructions about my life, but I was ignoring Him because I was afraid of the repercussions of man. Let me tell you something, just like a spouse, or a boyfriend or girlfriend know just what buttons to push to get a reaction out of you, the LORD knows exactly what you need to get you to where He wants you to be if you are not listening. Now God is a gentleman, He won’t FORCE you to do anything, but He does know how to deal with each of His children in a very specific way. Like a parent, He deals with us all according to our needs, our personality, our knowledge and our attitude, things like that. For instance, I let Christian (my son) get a tattoo for his 16th birthday, I know people will not agree but I know my son, and I know the significance of what he wanted. It’s a beautiful tattoo to remind him of my grandfather who was his bff. Now when I have more children, they may want one at 16, and I can hear it now “but you let Chris get one!” and I may have to answer “yes, but you want Tinkerbelle on the back of your neck, no ma’am”. Her pappy and I will have to deal with her accordingly. With that being said, God always tries to give me slight nudges, little pushes to say “go that way”, but unfortunately He usually has to smack me down on my face in a pile of tears and snot for me to listen…I know, I’m trying to do better, but it’s the truth, I don’t always listen! I like to live on the edge I guess (like this paper that’s due Wednesday that I haven’t started).

Anywho, I finally decided to listen, and ever since I did I’ve felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, I’m seeing and hearing more clearly, and I just feel FREE, like doors are opening and nothing is holding me down. I don’t know why people think that being a Christian is all about rules and regulations, it isn’t! It is about FREEDOM in Christ! You are so much more free when you are obedient to His word, especially when He gives YOU a specific word for your life. You can’t let others tell you what you need to be doing in order to be in line with Christ, and you can’t lean on other people’s anointing as your own and expect to reap the benefits! You cannot walk in someone else’s calling and expect to be blessed! You have to walk in the path that God has carved out especially for you even if others don’t understand, even if you don’t understand. Hello, lean not on your own understanding…we say we trust God yet we question His judgement lol that just sounds ridiculous! WE don’t trust HIS judgement…let’s let that marinate…

OK, yeah so as I say all of this, I must say that you gotta get yours when it comes to the Lord. Not in a selfish, self serving way, but in a way that is reflective of Jesus Christ. Praise and Worship for instance, is not a show for you to sit, listen and be entertained by the vocal styling of the best singers of your congregation. Because really, the Lord can pass you the mic at any time and ask you to sing wit yo non singin’, voice crackin’ self. Yes!! It can happen, you know why, because the person with the best voice may not be anointed, or they may be in the flesh, but your praise is so pure that it sounds beautiful to ears of God. Now an anointed beautiful voice is a blessing Halleujah!! but that cracking pure spirit is just as amazing.

We don’t go to church to always receive, receive from the pastor, receive from the praise team, just soak up all the goodness of “church”. It’s not about tingly’s when your favorite praise leader starts singing your favorite song. It’s about you getting yours, however you need to, if you have to lay out in the floor, or cry out to the Lord!! Now, I do not in any means mean to make a spectacle of yourself and put on a show, don’t be foolish. But whatever it takes to get what you need, you need to do it! No matter who is watching because they should be getting theirs too and not be paying attention to you! Today I was on my FACE and I’m sure my tracks were showing, but if you saw my tracks, then you weren’t where you needed to be in the Spirit. When you’re fighting for your life it is NOT the time to be cute! You have to put in work, not just wait for church to usher in the Spirit to get what you need. You should be able to do it on your own, in the car, in the grocery store, on the highway, in the shower whenever you need Him!!

Punctuality and an order of service is not what one should be looking for. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit in order to stay on your agenda, or your schedule. Funny, I wrote that two months ago but today the Spirit moved one way and changed the course of the service and who are we to complain? Should order be in the church? Yes, of course but don’t try and dictate what the Holy Spirit is trying to do. The Lord obviously wants you to get something – TAKE IT!