Let Him Lead

So last month I had a revelation during salsa dancing for my friend’s birthday. I did such a GREAT JOB letting the men lead! Now, if you’ve ever been salsa dancing, you know that random men just come and ask you to dance. I know that sounds strange if you’ve never been but it’s really fun. Usually, it’ll be an older gentleman who’s a pro in the salsa game. They help you, teach you, & lead you. Lets back track…

The first time I went salsa dancing was with a group of friends for a birthday. We went early to take the free lesson so we would at least halfway know what we were doing when it was time to dance. It was fun, I got a couple of moves down (I’m a dancer so I pick up choreography pretty quickly…usually). Anyway, when it came time to dance I was doing great! BUT I kept trying to lead! One gentleman, who had to be in his late 50’s, stopped me at one point & said “you have to let me lead’ I was like whoops! I’m sorry, & I was better…kinda, for the rest of the night. So last month, after having gone a few times since the first time years ago, I did a great job at letting the men lead! I grew up with with a single mother & I’ve been a parent since I was 17, & I come from a long line (blood & chosen) of strong, opinionated women – we always have something to say. I’ve always been in control when it came to making decisions about my son’s life, but it won’t be that way once I get married & have more children – that is one area of my life that The Lord has been working on for a minute.

The bible says: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” ~Ephesians 5: 22-33~

Now lookey here, it says WIVES to HUSBANDS & vice versa. Let’s get that straight right now. It doesn’t say yo boo, yo bae, or even yo baby daddy, but your husband! I digress… there is a natural order of the household that needs to be in play for your home to be run properly & in order. Perfect? No, but properly & in order. I was never comfortable with that order because I’ve always had a “I DON’T NEED NO MAN TELLING ME WHAT TO DO” kind of attitude. (you have to close your eyes, tilt your head back & to the left, & wave your pinky finger while saying that). But I am very happy that God is working on me in that area & has changed my way of thinking in such matters.

Letting a man lead is not taking anything away from our strength as women. It actually takes a lot of strength to trust your husband to lead the household. BUT this is why we as women must chose a man who is fully submitted to Christ. If he is not submitted then how can he lead your household? Newsflash, HE CAN’T, absolutely cannot. Well, I guess he can… he can lead you into a ditch. But did you read what it said in Ephesians!? God is asking us to submit to our husbands but there is a HEAVY load on the man! He has a lot to do! Women run around rolling necks talking about “I’m not submitting to no man” but at the same time expect their husband to treat them the way God intended. Meanwhile, they have to cleanse us with the word (which means they have to study the word), love us like they love themselves – the word says if they don’t that means they DO NOT love themselves. They have to protect us and provide for us. They have to cover us. They have to make sure we feel safe & secure. Their love for us is like a mirror & it reflects how they feel about themselves. They have to love us like Christ loved us, hello? He died for us! If they present us with a spot or blemish, who gets it? Not us, they do – they’re responsible. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to do all that! I do not want that responsibility. So yes, I will submit to my husband & be his helpmate because he will be submitted to Christ & he has a heavy load to bear along with my moods and inability to decide what I want to eat even though I’m always hungry.

This is why when choosing a mate, we have to be sure it’s God’s best for us. We can’t base it off of looks, money, clothes, or any fleeting thing. Does he go to church? Does he love God? Does he follow Christ? Is he in his word? Does he spend time with God? Does he have accountability? Is he consistent? Is he honest? Is he integral? Does he hold you accountable? Is protecting your purity important to him? (whether you’re a virgin or abstaining) Can he help you, teach you, & lead you? And does he take your snotty tissue after praise & worship & put it in is pocket & make sure you always have gas in your car…